Must buy kitten. ASAP.

Enough Cryin'

It's amazing just how much Mary J. Blige one can listen to without getting sick of her.

Seriously.

I asked Santa for her new album for Christmas. Santa better friggin' pay up.

Done.

I'm officially fed up with everything. Done and done.

Bah humbug.

manhole

i'm holding here a book
notable, but not the greatest
stolen for me by the latest
in a long line of thieves
and i'm just about to drop it
down that manhole of memories
when i realize it doesn't bother me
like love's mementos usually do
and i look up to see who's different here
the latest me or the latest you

course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
he just doctors everything
chooses some unassuming finger
and quietly moves his wedding ring
who rewrites his autobiography
for any pretty girl who'll sing
but you can't fool the queen, baby
cuz i married the king

and maybe it was i who betrayed his majesty
with no opposite reality
like a puddle with no reflection
of the sky or the trees
but after my dreaded beheading
i tied that sucker back on with a string
and i guess i'm pretty different now
considering

i kissed you on the street that night
on the far side of four
but i didn't like the taste
in my mouth or yours
and ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
for once i had the balls to call it
just call it
but a lesson must be lived
in order to be learned
and the clarity to see and stop this now
that is what i've earned

and maybe it was i who betrayed his majesty
with no opposite reality
like a puddle with no reflection
of the sky or the trees
but after my dreaded beheading
i tied that sucker back on with a string
and i guess i'm pretty different now
considering

i'm holding here a book
notable, but not the greatest
stolen for me by the latest
in a long line of thieves
and i'm just about to drop it
down that manhole of memories
when i realize it doesn't bother me
and heartache not so dire
cuz i looked up to see integrity
finally won over desire

—ANI DIFRANCO

uh huh

SCORPIO [Oct. 23–Nov. 21]
For reasons too silly to go into here (involving romance, of course), I once spent six months making thrice-weekly three-and-a-half-hour round trips from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, to Columbia, South Carolina. The back roads I drove on were sparsely traveled and my ancient pickup truck didn't have a radio, so I passed the time by reading. I became quite skilled at continually darting my eyes back and forth between the road and the open book resting on my steering wheel; in this way I got through James Joyce's Ulysses, Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, and Thomas Mann's Magic Mountain. I don't advise you to try something so dangerous, Scorpio, but I do believe it's a perfect astrological moment for you to master the art of slipping back and forth between two starkly different realities.
—Rob Brezsny, Village Voice

Like, say, living within my means vs. living way effing beyond my means? Check.

rolling home to you

Old man, look at my life, I'm a lot like you

Old man, take a look at my life
Twenty-four and I'm so much more
Live alone in a paradise, makes me think of two

Love lost at such a cost
Give me things that don't get lost
Like a coin that won't get tossed, rolling home to you

Old man, take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me the whole day through
Oh, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true

Lullabies, look in your eyes
Run around the same old town
Doesn't mean that much to me, mean that much to you

I've been first and last
Look at how the time goes past
But I'm all alone at last, rolling home to you

Old man, take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you
I need someone to love me the whole day through
Oh, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true

Old man, look at my life, I'm a lot like you

—Old Man / The Wailin' Jennys

Word, no?

220 calories

Mike and Ike: I heart you.

There’s grown-up on my pillow.

(Hope you’re feeling better Lisbeth. And it’s throw-up.)

I don’t understand them, the people who show up for jury duty without a book, magazine, crossword puzzle, pen and paper, anything. I watched these people do nothing all day today. How can you do nothing for eight hours? They just sat. And stared. At nothing. I don’t understand them.

That being said, I got through two magazines, a third of Eat, Pray, Love and had quite the day of relaxation and quiet. I love jury duty. To sit in a quiet room for eight hours and read? Now, I know this isn’t the typical civic duty service for most, but to be one of the lucky ones as I was today? . . . to not have your name called? . . . while at first it felt like I was the last pick in the school yard, I soon got over it.

Back to work tomorrow. I might just have to go back to being a legal eagle (I'm so cool) later in the week though. Don’t ask . . . I have no idea how this crap works either. I’m just doing what they tell me.

It’s past my bedtime and I have a big tension headache from the enormous breakdown I just had on the phone with my sister. Dude, Sarah, you’re one patient lady. I’m terribly sorry you always seem to get the explosions. (I know it’s particularly fun to hear me fight to catch breath, being so friggin’ blocked up and all.)

Ugh . . .

One last fit for 2007, I suppose (let’s hope that’s the last one). I think 2008 is going to be all about learning how to live in a capable, non-retarded fashion. Or perhaps I won’t have to worry and soon I’ll just start pooping money.

I’m going to go to bed now and hope that I wake up making more sense.

From Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:

"I love my pizza so much, in fact, that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love me, in return."

"You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

"Brad's bum in particular was in a bad way."

Thank you for this, Betsy.

Fans get too close to Brad Pitt and George Clooney waxworks

Holy crap, that's some funny shit.

High C.

I’m retuning today: Retune the Body with a Partial Fast

I’ve never realized just how much of my life revolves around food . . . how much I think about it, love it, plan ahead for it. And, I have to say . . . I just don’t think that’s a bad thing.

I’m hungry as hell. Yet . . . proud. Just think, I’m waking up tomorrow retuned! How’re YOU waking up tomorrow?

7.5 hours to go . . .

I'm a friggin' hero.

Good. And good.

I just read about this web site in Self magazine. I already love it.

lifehacker


(Congrats, pumpkinhead. I'm proud of you. I still think you're crazy, but I'm proud of you.)