October 31, 2008

Totally and completely satisfied.



Smiled for the first time today! Yay! Go Joshua!

Happy Halloween.



The one highlight of this holiday . . .

October 30, 2008

October 24, 2008

Dressing on the side though.

This commercial REALLY made me laugh, Wednesday morning.

Look, it's been a long week . . .

It's true.

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Mush.

Senior Fug

VANESSA: Poor Ashley. She's like the Boring Meat in a sandwich made of Adorable Bread and no one wants to eat her. Or something. You know what I mean.


Thank God it's Friday. I think my brain is turning to mush.

October 22, 2008

Pray that I don't try to beat her

When's the next album, eh?



Is Sunday gonna be my day to take it easy
(make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel
Sunday gonna be ma day to take it easy
(and make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel

It's 9:30 in the mornin', I didn't sleep well again
Tossed all night long boy
Can't stand it when we fight like this
Here we go again so I have to be gone
Can't deal with the fallout
Gonna take a time out
I need to take the day off
Gonna gather my thoughts, gather myself
I need some time without you, without you

Is Sunday gonna be my day to take it easy
(make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel
Sunday gonna be ma day to take it easy
(and make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel

Maybe I'll just take a walk
A few blocks get a bite to eat
See a movie (but not a love story)
Try to get in the key, listen to some Stevie
What I need to do is go to church
And pray for that girl that got between us
Pray that I don't see her
Pray that I don't meet her
Pray that I don't try to beat her

Is Sunday gonna be my day to take it easy
(make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel
Sunday gonna be ma day to take it easy
(and make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel

What she says and what she does ain't no concern to me
She don't really need to be all up in my business
Baby you didn't really take the time to talk to me
You played me and betrayed me
Now I'm ready I need, I need Sunday . . .

Is Sunday gonna be my day to take it easy
(make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel
Sunday gonna be ma day to take it easy
(and make it all about me)
Maybe on Monday think about callin'
Maybe Tuesday we'll see how I feel

—Heather Headley, Sunday

October 21, 2008

Cashews probably aren't great for you in massive quantities, huh?

1. I’m going to the gym tonight for the first time in three weeks. Healthy Muggins 2008 starts today!!

2. I scrubbed my bathroom last night, in lieu of my Mum’s arrival this weekend. Let’s hope I can keep it clean until Friday. (And then there are no rules.) I plan on scrubbing the kitchen SLASH office SLASH wardrobe area tonight. I heart living in a studio. Really. At least I’ll only have the East Wing to worry about for the rest of the week.

3. I’m itching to start drawing again. For fun, not work. I wonder what I’ll start with. Aren’t you on the edge of your seat?

4. There is a plastic bag of peanut M&Ms in my desk drawer (courtesy of the BFFFF who doesn’t know how to keep to oneself chocolate gifts) and they’re ALL I can think about. But Healthy Muggins 2008 is keeping me from reaching on in there and pulling them out. How’s THAT for self-control?? (I think I’m going to have a harder time tonight around the peanut butter cup ice cream in my freezer (courtesy of jerkface).) You people need to stop it!

5. Have I mentioned how excited I am about my Mam coming this weekend????? The plan (in order of “events”):
- couch
- pizza
- wine
- movie
- donuts
- flea market
- tea
- couch
- wine
- dinner
- couch
- wine
- Sarah’s circus
- brunch
- snack
- wine
- dinner
- wine
- movie
- breakfast
- movie
- lunch
- wine
- couch
- dinner
- wine
- cake
That about covers it. (This all, of course, falls under Healthy Muggins 2008. Naturally.)

6. Excellent to see you this afternoon, Goolia. How I’ve missed you, friend. See you in November, poppet.

Oh, the fun of burning books.

Oregon mom won't return library's 'Bunny Suicide' book

Taffey needs to settle down.

(I bet she's just upset about her name. Taffey?? Seriously?)

October 17, 2008

Love.

Seriously, love.



I've been watchin' you from afar
For as long as I can remember
You are all a real man can need
And ever ask for, this is love
This is more than a crush

It was all up at Rutgers, I saw you with your man
Smiling, a coach bag in your hand
I was laying in the coup with my hat turned back
We caught eyes for a moment, and that was that
So skated off, as you strolled off
Looking at them legs, God damn they looked so soft (so fine)
I gotta take ya from your man, that's my mission
If his love is real he got to handle competition

You only knew you about 5 months (that's right)
Besides he drinks too much and smokes too many blunts
And I've been workin' out everyday thinkin' 'bout you
Lookin' at my own eyes in the rear view
Cathchin' flash backs of our eye contact
Wish I could lay ya on your stomach and caress your back
I would hold ya in my arms and ease your fears
I can't believe it, I haven't had a crush in years

Hey lover

Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush

I see you at the bus stop waitin' everyday
Your man must think it's safe for you to travel that way
But I don't want to violate your relationship
So I lay back in the cut with a crush that's a trip
Still he can't stop me from having day dreams
Tounging you down with vanilla ice cream

Kissing on your thighs in the moonlight
Searching your body with my tounge girl all night
I wonder one day could it be, simple dreams can turn into reality
Our love would come down so naturally
We would walk down the aisle of destiny
What your man got his hustle on gotcha type scared
Break ya off a little chump change to do your hair
That seems to be enough to satisfy your needs
But there's a deeper level if you just follow my lead

Hey lover

Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush

Last week I saw ya at the mall
Standing at the pay phone 'bout to make a call
I had a vision it was me on the other end
Telling you come by and then you walked in
I touched you gently with my hands
We talked about travelin' the distant lands
Escaping all the madness out here in the world
Becomin' my wife no longer my girl

Then you let your dress fall down to the floor
I kissed you softly and you yearned for more
We experienced pleasure unparallel
Into an ocean of love we both fell
Swimming in the timeless, currents of pure bliss
Fantasies interchanging with each kiss
Undying passion unities our souls
Togehter we swim until the point of no control

But its a fantasy it (that, you) won't come true
We never even spoke and your man (still) love you
So I'm gonna keep all these feelins inside
Keep my dreams alive until the right time

Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush

Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush

This is more than a crush
This is more than a crush
This is more than a crush
This is more than a crush

—LL Cool J / Hey Lover

I really can't stop laughing at this.

October 16, 2008

Ain't that the truth.

Love is not a victory march



Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who'd outdrew you
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

— Leonard Cohen / Hallelujah

#3, please.

So, like, on a scale of 1-10, a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll is how bad for you??

Seriously. How bad?

October 15, 2008

Procrastination Device #27864038

This. Is. Amazing.

thisissand.com

Check out the gallery, too.

I had to steal a little time baby so I could spend it all on you



Look out baby
I'm in a dangerous mood
I done called up the bossman
Told him where to go
And just what to do

Call me crazy
But i did what I had to do
You can call me stupid
I just did what I had to do
I had to steal a little time baby
So I could spend it all on you
I parked the car down the street
And I unplugged the phone
So it would look just like
Ain't nobody home
I put a rose on your pillow
Where you lay your pretty head
I'm gonna rub your tired shoulders
Bring your dinner to your bed

Look out baby
I'm in a dangerous mood
I had to steal a little time baby
So I could spend it all on you

I'm gonna light a candle
Put the champagne on ice
And if one ain't enough
Well we'll just have to do it twice
I done made myself a will
And I've called my next of kin
'Cause I'm gonna love you over
And over and over
Again and again

Look out baby
I'm in a dangerous mood
I had to steal a little time baby
So I could spend it all on you

Look out baby
I'm in a dangerous mood
Look out baby
I'm in a dangerous mood
I just this one last paycheck baby
And I'm gonna spend every dime on you

—Keb' Mo' / Dangerous Mood

October 14, 2008

Scary.

Could the 'Bradley Effect' Hurt Obama?

Not preggers, but swollen all the same.

1. I saw 58 pregnant women on the way to work today. OK, maybe not that many . . . but a LOT nonetheless. What’s in the water around here?

2. I really need to get off the liquid crack, aka Diet Coke. I know I’ve brought it up before . . . but I’m serious this time. (Last 50 times, I was just having a laugh.) The stuff is no good. No good for you. I need to become a water addict. Easy enough. Although, I’m not ready to be preggers . . .

3. I need to become a whole hell of a lot better at keeping in touch with people. I just found out that a friend’s baby has three teeth now! Three! Teeth! The kid can now chew and I am still picturing him trying to focus his eyes. Not good friend business. At all.

4. Really need to kick-start Healthy Muggins 2008 at some point. I’m running out of time. Dinner last night: two glasses of Chenin Blanc, one everything bagel topped with butter and cheddar cheese, one ice cream cone stuffed with chocolate chip cookie dough. Yes, lovely and yummy. No, healthy and ideal. And this cold isn’t letting up so God knows when I’ll see the gym again. Feeling good. Feeling really good. Perhaps bloated and puffy will be IN this season. How ahead of the game will I be then? Very, my friends. Very.

October 13, 2008

When I reach those hills, boys, I'll never roam



A long time ago I left my home
For a job in the fruit trees
But I missed those hills with the windy pines
For their song seemed to suit me
So I sent my wages to my home
Said we'd soon be together
For the next good crop would pay my way
And I would come home forever
One more dime to show for my day
One more dollar and I'm on my way
When I reach those hills, boys
I'll never roam
One more dollar and I'm going home
No work said the boss at the bunk house door
There's a freeze on the branches
So when the dice came out at the bar downtown
I rolled and I took my chances
One more dime to show for my day
One more dollar and I'm on my way
When I reach those hills, boys
I'll never roam
One more dollar and I'm going home
A long time ago I left my home
Just a boy passing twenty
Could you spare a coin and a Christian prayer
For my luck has turned against me
One more dime to show for my day
One more dollar and I'm on my way
When I reach those hills, boys
I'll never roam
One more dollar and I'm going home
One more dollar
Boys I'm going home

—Gillian Welch / One More Dollar

Because I'm TOO excited . . .

Of COURSE I'm most excited about my Mam coming to see me (see her comment in the post below)!! I think I forgot to put it on the list as I'm SO excited, I can't think straight. Seriously.

Perhaps I should have replaced the Shepherd's pie bit with my Mam coming to see me. Both are English. Interchangeable, yes? And I certainly didn't end up making Shepherd's pie . . .

um, gotta go . . .

October 10, 2008

Damn, I'm fascinating.

Things I am looking forward to:

1. Anthony Hamilton concert, November 19.
2. Ani DiFranco concert, November 21.
3. Getting back into bed.
4. Sleeping in tomorrow.
5. Making Shepherd’s pie on Sunday.

5 things I am not looking forward to:

1. Being at work for the next 6 hours.
2. Spending another day with this ugly little cold.
3. Doing my laundry.
4. Going through my mail.
5. The bank taking back the $208.14 that has magically appeared in my checking account.

October 9, 2008

Obviously . . .

I have politics, namely McCain/Palin, on the brain. Mostly because I can't believe how badly McCain shot himself in the foot with this woman. I will not be voting Vag this election, that's fo' damn sure.

Satirrrrific. (I'm a tool.)

The Palindrome

Some highlights (mostly chosen because of the titles):

please dont die please dont die please dont die
And John seems so distracted! I tried to talk to him last night but he sort of looked at me sadly and patted me on the back and told a story about how he never thought he was ready to get shot down and spend five years in a prison camp but human beings are capable of amazing things and i wanted to be all like "WTF YOU JUST HAD TO SIT THERE AND NOT LAUNCH NUCULAR BOMBS' and i know it was hard but its beside the point because what was he thinking!?!?!?!?


What it was like to meat John McCain

But anyway, man, the highlight, besides Mrs. P's speech, of course, was meeting Mr. McCain, who was like totally old. Like way older than I expected. I don't know how that guy can do it everyday, man. He's like ancient. And like his arms were like stiff and couldn't really move real good. It was real awkward. But I guess that's what happens when you're like 100. Still, he was pretty cool, ya know. He totally talked straight to me, like when he pulled me aside and said, "Boy, you better not f*** this up for me or I will use your balls as hockey pucks, do you hear me?" That really kind of spoke to me in my own language.


Matt Damon? More like Matt Demon!

I was really hoping that if I was Vice President he and I could hang out, maybe have a couple of drinks, listen to some music. Nothing inappropriate (don't worry- Todd! You are the only one for me!), just two friends spending some time together, but I guess that isn't possible now :(

What the Brits think . . . (Yes, we should care.)

Flirting her way to victory
Sarah Palin's farcical debate performance lowered the standards for both female candidates and US political discourse

At one point, Michelle Goldberg pulls a quote from Palin from the debate. This is "how she responded to Biden's comments about how the middle class has been short-changed during the Bush administration, and how McCain will continue Bush's policies:"

Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced [sic] your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education, and I'm glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? ... My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate.


This just made me laugh out loud. What the fuck is she talking about???

If you didn't see this last Saturday, check out Tina Fey as Palin during the debate. I think my favorite part is when she pulls out the flute.

Fey as Palin continues to boost ‘SNL’ ratings

gobbledygook

Who You Callin’ a Maverick?

October 7, 2008

And have the faith I, I have in you

Definitely on my "Top 5" list.



Trust in me in all you do
Have the faith I have in you
Love will see us through
If only you trust in me
Why don't you, you trust me

Come to me when things go wrong
Cling to me Daddy, oh yeah, and I'll be strong
We can get along, we can get along
Oh, if only you trust in me

While there's a moon, a moon on high
While there are birds, birds to fly
While there is you, you and I
I can be sure that I love you

Oh, stand beside me, stand beside me all the while
Come on Daddy, face the future, why don't you smile
Trust in me and I'll be worthy of you

Oh yeah, yeah, why don't you, you trust in me in all you do
And have the faith I, I have in you
Oh, and love will see us through
If only you trust in me
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Why don't you, you come to me when things go wrong
Cling to me and, whoa, and I'll be strong
We can get along, we can get along
Oh, if only you trust in me
Yeah, yeah

—Etta James / Trust in Me

In repose.

Two of my favorite people.

October 1, 2008

He'll get his.

1. I’m standing at the bus stop this morning and the pricey $5-a-ride Wall Street bus pulls up. The only other person at the bus stop (Dude A) doesn’t get on and neither do I, but there’s another person (Dude B) running at the bus. The bus driver obviously sees Dude B because he makes no indication to pull away or close the door. Dude B gets to the bus door and before lumbering up the bus stairs, turns to Dude A and says “Thanks for nothing.”

What a guy. Definite Nutsack.

2. I’m so tired of hearing people with money talk about money. Tired. Of. It.

3. Do you think all of the aspartame in all of the Diet Coke I drink is going to kill me? Just wondering.