Two things

1. Chicken dumpling soup is delish.

2. Thanks be to Jebus, tomorrow is payday.

whoop whoop

Bunnies, rainbows, stardust

I’m in desperate need of a time-out and a self-overhaul.

I started compiling a list today. Of things I want to do, need to do, better fucking do. I was adding things to it all day. Of course, this is probably going to go the way of most of the other “to do” lists I put together, but I’m going jot it down here anyhow . . . because I have it on my mind and this is my blog to do with as I wish. So suck it.

- No more diet coke before noon (this is a very good idea)

- Buy new pair of Responsibility Pants and focus on doing freelance work in a timely fashion, going after more freelance work, and doing better work for clients

- Wear new pair of RPs to get out of financial clusterfuck that I—and only I—have created for myself

- Apply same determination and drive used at work to health and self-preservation (read: use gym membership, stop eating like a cow, get a hell of a lot more sleep, drop-kick stress level, etc.)

- Start friggin’ drawing again already

- Engage in some extracurricular creative study (get to a bookstore once a week and sit with design mags for a hour—thank you, Timmy)

- Give clothes to Good Will, sell shoes on eBay, take books to second-hand library bookshop (a.k.a. sort through clothes, stuff . . . shed extra baggage)

- Pick up one of the many, many, many books lugged home and take less than 3 months to finish it

- Stop waiting 2-4 weeks before returning emails, phone calls, friend interaction (get head out of own ass)

- Read stack of magazines taking up valuable floor space

- Buy camera, learn how to use it, start taking photos of my important people

- Buy strings, pick up dusty guitar, figure out how to put strings on guitar, start teaching self (again) how to play guitar (like it worked out so well the first time?), impress everyone, get record deal, play at Brad and Angelina’s wedding

My. Wasn’t that exciting?

Wow, I really forgo a blog theme, don’t I?

And now, a treat:



Darling remember from when you come to me
that I’m the pretender,
I’m not what I’m supposed to be
but who could know, lf I’m a traitor?
times the revelator, revelator.

They caught the Katy, and left me a mule to ride.
The fortune lady came along she walked beside,
but every word seemed to date her.
Times the revelator, the revelator.

Up in the morning up and on the ride.
I drive in to Corning and all the spindles whine
and ever day is getting straighter.
Times the revelator the revelator

Leaving the valley and fucking out of sight
I’ll go back to Cali where I can sleep out every night
and watch the waves and move the fader.

Queen of fakes and Imitators
Times the revelator.


And now I'm going to sleep. Because it's late and I'm posting lists on my blog instead of working on bullet #4.

Good God, I hope I can get out of my head soon. If someone could let me know how to get out my own way, I'd appreciate it.


UPDATE: New title for bloggage entry, for one who felt dejected.

She used to be such a wee thing.

Lisbeth vs. The Computer



I'm pretty sure she's still the cutest thing ever. Ev. Er.

UPDATE: Yes, that's her calling the computer Nana. Because, her Nana in Virginia lives inside the monitor most of the time. Thank God they didn't have that technology when I was growing up . . . holy confusion, Batman.

Hiding My Heart / Brandi Carlile

So this is how the story went
I met someone by accident
That blew me away
That blew me away

It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, you buried them away

And I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I dropped you off at the train station
And put a kiss on top of your head
I watched you wave
I watched you wave
Then I went on home to my skyscrapers
Neon lights and waiting papers
That I call home
I call it home

And I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I woke up feeling heavy hearted
I'm going back to where I started
The morning rain
The morning rain
And you know I wish that you were here
But that same old road that brought me here
Is calling me home
Is calling me home

And I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear someday
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away


**heartstring pull heartstring pull**

FYI

Fat free blueberry muffins could do with some fat in them.

Seriously.

in the a.m.

It's way past my bedtime. Yet, I haven't hit the sack yet (ha, sack). I got a little carried away downloading music . . . although, I did manage to find one of my favorite recordings (Ryan Adams and Gillian Welch, Helpless, 1999) and have listened to it on repeat for the last 15 minutes or so. And now you can listen to it, too! Here you go. (Please be sure to note the toolbox who drops his bottle. How much do you love THAT guy?) And, say, do you want the entire set from that night in Nashville? Well, here you go.

In other news, after I finished up freelance work (only 2 and a half weeks late with that) I started deleting crap off of my FTP site, as I've been warned that I'm all full up (of crap). I found the files from my old blog. The one that I took down in a state of "why in the hell do I have this up?"-dom. I'll warn you, I'm in that very same state of mind now, too. But I won't take this blog down (LUCKY. YOU.) b/c Cristina would seriously hurt me. I am, however, about to yank down that damn Effbook page. I can't explain it . . . it just freaks me out.

ANYhoo . . . found this when I was looking thru the old, forgotten blog archives. This site still makes me laugh: Poor Anthony.

Found a lot of other crap but it all made me puke . . . so there you go.

Goodnight, people.

an old favorite

Leased twenty acres
And one jimmy mule
From the Alabama Trust
Half of cotton, third of corn
Get a hand full of dust

We cannot have all things pleasin'
No matter how we try
Until we've all gone to Jesus
We can only wonder why

I had a daughter
Called her Annabelle
She's the apple of my eye
Tried to give her something like I never had
Didn't want to ever hear her cry

We cannot have all things pleasing
No matter how we try
Until we've all gone to Jesus
We can only wonder why
When I'm dead and buried

I'll take a hard life of tears
Every day I've ever known
Anna's in the churchyard
She's got no life at all
She only got these words on stone:

We cannot have all things pleasing
No matter how we try
Until we've all gone to Jesus
We can only wonder why

—Gillian Welch, Annabelle

Colors / Amos Lee

Yesterday I got lost in the circus
Felling like such a mess
Now I’m down I’m just hanging on the corner
I can’t help but reminisce
When you’re gone all the colors fade
When you’re gone no New Year’s Day parade
You’re gone
Colors seem to fade

Your mama called she said that you’re down stairs crying
Feeling like such a mess
Yeah I hear you you’re in the background bawling
What happened to your sweet summertime dress

I know we all, we all got our faults
We get locked in our vaults and we stay
But when you’re gone all the colors fade
When you’re gone no New Year’s Day parade
You’re gone
Colors seem to fade
Colors seem to fade
Yeah

***

Damn, that's one lovely song. I must see him in concert soon.

now we're talking . . .

ARSEBOOK

CRACKBOOK

lovely.

if you've never heard her music, you're missing out. when, oh when, is the next album out, imogen? your musical stylings fit my mood today.

six? six??

someone just used six happy exclamation points on me . . . in a seven word work email.

dear perky perkerson,

suck it.

mug

p.s. you got a tad of a smile . . . but don't go thinking that shit is cool.

song o' the day and a little question

so that's how you found me
rain falling around me
lookin down at a worm
with a long way to go
and the traffic was hissing by
and i was homesick
and i was high

i was surrounded by a language
in which i could say only hello
and thank you very much
and you spoke so i could understand
and i drew a treasure map on your hand

and you were no picnic
you were no prize
but you had just enough pathos
to keep me hypnotized
hypnotized

the map led to an island
in a sea of store-bought dreams
where soulless singers sang
over beats built by machines

and lovely girls were hovering
above my head like gulls
with their long slender necks
and their delicate skulls

and i was no picnic
i was no prize
but i had just enough sweetness
to keep you hypnotized
hypnotized

so that's how you found me
rain falling around me
lookin down at a worm
with a long way to go

—hypnotized, ani difranco

* * *

no caps today. no caps at all. caps are for the well-rested.

question: can one day pass me by without being sent a bill for some large amount of money that 1) i don't have 2) would be smaller had i remembered to pay the goddamn bill when it was due?

i'm an idiot.

i need this panicked feeling to dissipate at some point. i need to feel quiet.

Yummy yum yum

Just had a Cadbury Fruit & Nut. I refuse to feel bad about it, too. Until I can't button my pants tomorrow.

HEY, EFF YOU! IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK!

Dammit.

Peachy.

I think I may have just nodded off at my desk for a full minute. Two 12-hour work days, no down-time, and getting into work at 8:00 a.m., does not a happy Muggy make. That was a wordy and horrible sentence . . . but you get my point. Need. A. Nap. And a refresher English course, apparently.

I can’t even begin to express the rage I’m starting to feel every time I hear “I can’t read that subtitle." Oh yeah?? Can’t you? That’s weird . . . you’d think you’d be able to read it STANDING 10 FUCKING FEET AWAY FROM THE COVER.
Welcome to my day.

Watch. Out.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): You will soon be dealing with a challenge you have faced before: how to synchronize your two major archetypes, the lover and the warrior. As always, it will be a daunting task. You will be asked to cultivate the tender, considerate instincts of the lover within you while simultaneously feeding the fiery discipline of your inner warrior. I know you can do it, Scorpio—even if it seems impossible from where you're standing right now. —Village Voice, Rob Brezsny

Effbook

Last night I went to see The Wailin’ Jennys concert, downtown at Joe’s Pub (awesome space, by the way). They were fantastic – their music is just so pure and beautiful. The girls seemed completely at ease and natural.

Harumph . . . I want to play the fiddle and sing without ruining someone’s life.

Seriously though, next time they’re in town: all of you are coming with me. I want everyone to experience them live. Really, really, really good.

I ended the night by coming home and seeing the explosion in my email regarding Facebook. Good God, people. I finally relented and joined this virtual community about 4 hours previously. The whole thing is pretty overwhelming to me. I spent a good half hour quizzing Gabe about Fbook and why he was asking me to become a Vampire. I don’t want to be a Vampire.

I’ve already been “friended” by a girl from high school who I haven’t spoken to AT ALL since . . . well, high school. And I’m pretty sure we weren’t much more than acquaintances then. Very, very strange. I’m not sure how I feel about a lot of people from my past (many of whom I’d rather choose to forget) getting in touch with me . . . if only virtually. (This said, hurry up and sign up Cris.)

How is it that so much of the work I do deals with a computer and the Internet YET I feel so very far behind in the digital age (and in every other aspect of my life, it seems)? Am I that antiquated? Is it strange that I still love buying CDs and going through the liner notes? Is it strange that I really miss non-digital cameras and the excitement of opening up a pack of “I have no idea what’s on this roll” photos? Is it odd that I miss answering machines and people not able to get in touch with me during the day?

I think I need serious help.

But, we already knew that.

Amazing

I got all teary watching bits of his lecture, when he was featured on Good Morning America. I haven't had the chance to watch the complete lecture yet. I'm going to have a hanky nearby, that's for damn sure.

Kath: thanks for sending the links! :)

This guy puts it in perspective.

Randy Pausch's Web Site

I WANT HIM!!!!

Upsetting

Rudolph Not Returning to 'SNL'

Kristen Wiig better not go anywhere. I'm not sure who saw Knocked Up out there (which was quite good) but Kristen definitely made me laugh the hardest. She rocks. Big time rockage.

***

UPDATE, PER BOOGIE!!!

Thank friggin' God.

Elizabeth - The Golden Age

I can not WAIT to see this!! I love Cate Blanchett! I love Clive Owen! I love Elizabeth!! I love Cake! I need help!



Elizabeth - The Golden Age (trailer)