And here's the deal about me.

I feel for her: Exposed. Kinda.

So, wait, writing about your personal life online can have a negative affect on your life? I've never heard of this happening before. Perhaps not starting one blog after another, revealing personal information about yourself and your relationships? Just a thought . . .

I know, write a New York Times Magazine article about how negative it all is. It'll help. It'll turn the tide. Really.

(Gawker commentators are already having a fucking field day . . . losers.)

It could be more if she learned to never expect

She was the girl with the string around her neck,
With the boy who could only give her less.
It could be more if she learned to never expect,
And now she's her and him and then a baby next.

The wedding bells won't ring, but she couldn't care less,
You exist, when you're living in a dream world.

He grew up drinking milk from the cow, from the farm.
He was the traitor's father's father's father.
His father made him go give back to his country.
He gave his both knees, his overseas to fight the disease.

It's spreading fast over maps and it don't look back,
When you're living in a dream world.

It is a lion's science fiction wings,
Just like a jolly dizzy for zero, one, three times
The size of the people that came before.

Me and you and what we'd do for money.
This greed and jealousy turn to need.
See, I'm a man with a plan to use my hands.
I'm touching yours, you're the girl who wanted more.
Now baby, the story has faded from love to lie.

The clover under your feet is shooting stars in the night.
The people under your feet are shooting stars in the night.
The people, all that you meet, they're living in a dream world.

—Rilo Kiley, Dreamworld

Shitty video capture but the performance is good:

God BLESS you!

You spend half your life trying to turn the other half around

Copper on the corner and he loaded two rounds
And I can't even get inside to talk you down
Peter, sweet baby, where'd you get that gun?
You spend half your life trying to turn the other half around

And I tried to come clean, but I guess it's no use
Your face is all over six o'clock news
They cleared the street and then they closed the schools
I can't even get inside

Did you lose your head when the farm went down?
Was is when your daddy died after he moved to town
And I know your momma calls you good for nothing
She says her baby is a failer and she don't want you calling

Peter, sweet baby, there's something I need to say to you
Gonna have your baby this coming June
We could get a little place down by Gilmour park
You could do a little time and save my broken heart

And I tried to come clean, but I guess it's no use
Copper when ahead and he just shot you through
Now you're lying dead on the avenue
And I can't feel my broken heart

—Kathleen Edwards / Six O'Clock News

You will shelter me, my love. And I will shelter you.

I guess you don't need it
I guess you don't want me to repeat it
But everything I have to give I'll give to you
It's not like we planned it
You tried to stay, but you could not stand it
To see me shut down slow
as though it was an easy thing to do
Listen when
All of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
You will shelter me my love
And I will shelter you
I will shelter you
I left you heartbroken, but not until those very words were spoken
Has anybody ever made such a fool out of you
It's hard to believe it
Even as my eyes do see it
The very things that make you live are killing you
Listen when all of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
You will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
Listen when
All of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
Hey you will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
If you shelter me too
I will shelter you
I will shelter you

—Ray Lamontagne / Shelter

(Good God, this is a beautiful song. And a REALLY great version, no?(

Also excellent:

When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
It was easy to see that you'd been crying
Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
But who really profits from the dying
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you in my arms forever

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
It's my worried mind that you quiet
Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
Love is a poor man's food
Don't prophesize
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

So now we see how it is
This fist begets the spear
Weapons of war
Symptoms of madness
Don't let your eyes refuse to see
Don't let your ears refuse to hear
Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
I could hold you in my arms
I could hold on forever
And I could hold you in my arms
I could hold forever

—Ray Lamontagne / Hold You In My Arms

I'm not depressed.

. . . just in case that's what you were thinking after that last song posting. I just really, really don't want to go to the gym.

But I must because I'm starting to think the reps I've been doing with my wine glass aren't enough.

she will betray All that she loves

In the Lush Virginia hills
they kept her as long as they could
Cause they knew when the white brother found
white shell Beads wrapped around her
skin - a life giving river - Her body open
as will his hand
And with a "goodbye" there she goes

she may Betray
All that she loves
and even wait for
their Savior to come
And in some things,
maybe he'll be right
But as always
The thing that he Loves
he will change from her
sunwise to clockwise
to soul trading
still she'll lay down her Body
covering him all the same

so Hundreds of years go by
(the Red Road carved up by Sharp Knife)
She's a girl out working her Trade
and she loses a little each day
to ghetto pimps and presidents
who try and arouse her turquoise serpents
She can't recall what they represent
and when you ask, she won't know

she will Betray
All that she loves
and even wait for
their Savior to come
And in some things,
maybe he'll be right
But as always
The thing that he Loves
he will change from her
sunwise to clockwise
to soul trading
still she'll lay down her Body
covering him all the same

oh Virginia do you remember
when the Land held your hand
oh Virginia she will let you back in
oh Virginia you can't remember your name

—Tori Amos / Virginia

Eventually you just let the stone fall

Run away to the seashore.
It doesn't matter anymore
Doesn't matter anymore...
Words dry up and fly away
With the passing of the days
Eventually you just let the stone fall

I dreamed that I saw you
You were down at the corner store
You were looking through magazines
And you flew out the door
I was trying to wave to you but you wouldn't wave back
Now you know I understand you're with me only in the past.
Only in the past.
Only in the past.
Only in the past.

My palms are not open. They're closed, they're closed.
My palms are not open. They're closed, they're closed.

I dreamed that I saw you
You were down at the corner store
You were looking through magazines
And you flew out the door
I was trying to wave to you but you wouldn't wave back
Now you know I understand you're with me only in the past.
Only in the past.
Only in the past.
Only in the past.

Colours streak the sky.
We laugh and we cry
And we dance in the cool grass
With the fireflies
And we dance in the cool grass...sunset...
Birds sweet sweet music
Swallow our words.
You set sail and you left this town
Run away, run away.
You're so far,
So far from me now.
So far from me now.

I dreamed that I saw you
You were down at the corner store
You were looking through magazines
And you flew out the door
I was trying to wave to you but you wouldn't wave back
Now you know I understand you're with me only in the past.
Only in the past.
Only in the past.
Only in the past.

—Be Good Tanyas / Only in the Past

Wow, that blows.

Woman Arrested After 32 Years on Lam

foods, note.

I really need to start using Fresh Direct again. Their ice cream is $3.00 cheaper than at the grocery stores around me!

Amazing.

(Yes, this was a necessary mention.)

foods.

The fuckers at Edy’s have reduced the size of their ice cream containers. They’re now selling a 1.5 quart at a 1.75 quart price. What. The. Fuck?

Bastards.

Also, I think I have a peanut butter addiction. This is in addition to the existing ice cream, diet coke, and cheese addictions.

Good morning everyone!

Cause there ain't nobody who needs nobody

CMT Unplugged / Lori McKenna, Your Next Lover

So beautiful and sad.

Well, she lives a few doors down
Says she wants you to take her out
Have some coffee somewhere - just some coffee
You saw her out in the parking lot
And any plans you had you can break so wash your face - let yourself go

Everybody is a sinner
Everybody makes mistakes
And there ain't nobody - who needs nobody
Don't forget to look her in the eye
Laugh and show your smile
There's not much more to lonely than being less lonely

I stood and watched (all) the stars fade right there - from your eyes
Baby, I think I know just what your next lover will be like

You hate cigarettes so she won't smoke
But she don't mind this bar you're in
She sits right up there on that stool - puts her pocketbook down and smiles at you
You think she's about five foot three
That makes her taller than me
But you're not thinking about that now, no -it ain't right to think about that now

I stood and watched (all) the stars fade right there - from your eyes
Baby, I think I know just what your next lover will be like

And I hope she can fix you
I hope she's someone who will never let you down
I hope she reminds you nothing of me and - as crazy as crazy as it sounds I hope she's beautiful

I stood and watched (all) the stars fade right there - from your eyes
Baby, I think I know just what your next lover will be like

Cause there ain't nobody who needs nobody
There ain't nobody who needs nobody

—Lori McKenna / Your Next Lover

My, how time travels.

Since getting to work (an hour late), I have:

1. Checked out all the blogs (see list on right).
2. Checked my personal email (every 5 minutes).
3. Looked for and bought my Godmother's birthday gift (shipping from India to Scotland is a bit of a financial bitch, FYI).
4. Fucked up my blog, while updating my links, and had to reformat the damn thing. **shakes fist at blogger**
5. Jumped into email-chain with two lovely friends.
6. Followed through on two work-related email requests.
7. Solidified lunch plans -- eating outside, as it's gorgeous.
8. Written this UNBELIEVABLY ENTERTAINING blog post.

I might just be the busiest person in the world. That's right . . . the world.

we generate our own light to compensate for the lack of light from above.

growing up, it was just me and my mom against the world.
and all my sympathies were with her when i was a little girl
and i've seen both my parents play out the hands that they were dealt
as each year goes by, i know more about how my father must have felt.

i just want you to understand that i know what all the fighting
was for, and i just want you to understand that i'm not angry anymore.
no, i'm not angry anymore.

she taught me how to wage cold war with quiet charm
but i just want to walk through my life unarmed.
to accept, and just get by like my father learned to do,
but without all the acceptance of getting by that got my father through

i just want you to understand that i know what all the fighting was for
and i just want you to understand that i'm not angry anymore.
no, i'm not angry anymore.

night falls like people into love
we generate our own light to compensate
for the lack of light from above.
every time we fight a cold wind blows our way,
we can learn like the trees, how to bend,
how to sway and say

i, i think i understand
what all this fighting is for,
and i just want you to understand
i'm not angry anymore.
no, i'm not angry anymore.

—ani difranco / angry anymore


I actually used the quite lovely banjo intro to this song in a multimedia presentation I gave in college . . . on HVAC systems. That's right. I might just be the coolest person ever. Well-rounded, too. Totally well-rounded. And I'm not just talking about my caboose! . . . da da ching!

Look, it's the end of the day, I'm tired . . . I'm hungry . . . I have no excuse.

How could I ever believe 10,000 stones would save the fool in me

My days are filled with mistakes
Some that I didn't make
I carry them around
Some people don't feel a thing
Some kind of blissful dream
Wish I could live that now
oh I wish I could live that now

10,000 stones are hanging
deep in my heart
no I don't know how they
don't tear me apart
how could I ever believe
10,000 stones would build
the best of me.

I've seen a lot in my life
I've seen two wrongs make a right
When everything was crashing
I know that you got your plans
You're always taking your stand
But I was only asking
I was never asking for

10,000 stones are hanging
deep in my heart
no I don't know how they
don't tear me apart
how could I ever believe
10,000 stones would build
the best of me.

Who knows what you think of me now
knowing sooner or later
the truth would come out
but I don't want to look back
don't want to look back to

10,000 stones hanging deep in my heart
no I don't know how they don't tear me apart
how could I ever believe
10,000 stones would save the fool in me
10,000 stones would be a strange blessing
10,000 stones would build the best of me

—Adrianne / 10,000 Stones

Um, Cris . . . Ben again. Benjamin. I'm skeered.

Sweet Jesus, this looks terrifying.

I've gathered these pages of words left unspoken

Oh, there you are,
it's so good to see you,
it's so good to see you,
standing right at my door,
I wish you could stay.

Well, how's your girlfriend?
How's that going?
She never liked me,
oh I wish you could stay.

It might be an ordinary day,
but it seems like more than that to me...

Lines of my forehead,
from trying to thread the needle of this idea,
without letting you know it.

If you said I could
I'd throw the maps right out the window,
take the longest way home.

So I change the subject
and I put on my best smile,
so you won't notice,
so you won't notice what's wrong.

So don't you ask me,
no please don't ask me,
'cause I don't dare tell you,
exactly what's on my mind.

It might be an ordinary day,
but it seems like more than that to me...

I've gathered these pages
of words left unspoken,
letters I didn't send you
would fall right from my fingers.

If you said I could
put my hands where I want to,
set fire to the bedroom.

If you said I could
put it all out on the table,
throw the maps right out the window...

Oh there you are,
it's so good to see you,
it's so good to see you,
I wish you could stay.

—Chris Pureka, These Pages

Cristina! Benjamin!! It's BENJAAAAMMIIIIINNNNN!

Willem Dafoe AND Scott Speedman?? I think my heart just stopped.

Must. Go. See.

I put our snowflake under a microscope

Strange
Thought I knew you well
Thought I had read the sky
Thought I had read a change
in your eyes
so strange
Woke up to a world
that I am not a part
except when I can play
its stranger

After all
what were you really
looking for
and I wonder
when will I learn
Blue isn't red
everybody knows this
and I wonder
when will I learn
when will I learn
guess I was in Deeper than
I thought I was
if I have enough love
for the both of us

"just stay" you say
"we'll build a nest"
so I left my Life
Tried on your friends
Tried on your opinions
So when the Bridges froze
and you did not come home
I put our snowflake under a microscope

After all
what was I really
looking for
and I wonder
when will I learn
Maybe my wish knew better
than I did
and I wonder
when will I learn
when will I learn
guess I was in Deeper than
I thought I was
if I have enough love
for the both of us

so strange
now I'm finally in
the Party has begun
it's not like I can't
feel you still
but strange
what I will leave behind
you call me one more time
but now I must be leaving

—Tori Amos / Strange


I love this song. It's so clear.

Because there is nothing any sadder than losing yourself in love.

Leaves were falling, just like embers,
In colors red and gold, they set us on fire
Burning just like moonbeams in our eyes.

Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.

Now I'm guilty of something...
I hope you never do
Because there is nothing
Any sadder than losing yourself in love.

Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.

And then you've ask me... just to leave you
To set out on my own
And get what I needed.
You want me to find what I've already had.

Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.

Somebody said they saw me, swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud, killing the blues.

—Rowland Salley, Killing the Blues


FYI: Robert Plant and Alison Krauss do a lovely cover of this song on the Raising Sand album.