HARUMPH.

SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] In one episode of Seinfeld, Elaine couldn't get her favorite Chinese restaurant to deliver take-out food to her apartment, because her neighborhood was just beyond the boundary of where the drivers went. But Elaine was determined. She went over to the building across the street, which was within the restaurant's delivery zone, and set up an alternate home for herself in a janitor's closet. I suggest you adopt a similar strategy, Scorpio. If you can't get what you want in the place where you are, shift your location. —Rob Brezsny, Village Voice

The universe is one tedious little bastard. I GET IT ALREADY.