October 9, 2008

Satirrrrific. (I'm a tool.)

The Palindrome

Some highlights (mostly chosen because of the titles):

please dont die please dont die please dont die
And John seems so distracted! I tried to talk to him last night but he sort of looked at me sadly and patted me on the back and told a story about how he never thought he was ready to get shot down and spend five years in a prison camp but human beings are capable of amazing things and i wanted to be all like "WTF YOU JUST HAD TO SIT THERE AND NOT LAUNCH NUCULAR BOMBS' and i know it was hard but its beside the point because what was he thinking!?!?!?!?

What it was like to meat John McCain

But anyway, man, the highlight, besides Mrs. P's speech, of course, was meeting Mr. McCain, who was like totally old. Like way older than I expected. I don't know how that guy can do it everyday, man. He's like ancient. And like his arms were like stiff and couldn't really move real good. It was real awkward. But I guess that's what happens when you're like 100. Still, he was pretty cool, ya know. He totally talked straight to me, like when he pulled me aside and said, "Boy, you better not f*** this up for me or I will use your balls as hockey pucks, do you hear me?" That really kind of spoke to me in my own language.

Matt Damon? More like Matt Demon!

I was really hoping that if I was Vice President he and I could hang out, maybe have a couple of drinks, listen to some music. Nothing inappropriate (don't worry- Todd! You are the only one for me!), just two friends spending some time together, but I guess that isn't possible now :(

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